2013 weddings have already kicked off to a great start this year with two amazing weddings in March. I’m apparently known to be a really tough critic of weddings and any event and really of anything in life, but these two were really quite superb. Starting off with A+B=C’s wedding.
The C’s really know how to throw a party. This one was especially special for me, not just because I was a bridesmaid, but also because I take credit for bringing these two lovebirds together, having been the mutual friend. But more importantly- the first time A and B officially hooked up was the first time she had ever gotten blackout, and I had been trying to get this girl blackout for 5 years. This marriage is testament to the fact that good things CAN come out of blackouts, and that makes me a proud mama!
Anyway, this was my first NYC wedding, which I was really excited about — I was mainly tickled by the fact I could just take cabs to all the weekend venues. The rehearsal dinner on Friday night was at PUBLIC — maybe one of the fanciest rehearsal dinners I’ve ever attended. On top of the endless glasses of champagne and cocktails, here was the incred menu:
Sunchoke soup with smoked ricotta, sweet potato beignet and truffled grape vinaigrette
Grilled scallops with sweet chili sauce, crème fraiche and green plantain crisps
Pan-roasted duck breast with sesame soy dressing, cassava chips, wokked bok choy and pickled shallots
Dessert tray
After we were all liquored up, we took the after-party to Los Feliz, where the groomsmen started buying everyone round after round after round of tequila shots. Before I knew what was going on, I found myself sitting in the corner by myself staring off into the ceiling like some freak. My head was spinning like whoa, and I knew if I stayed any longer, I would not be able to wake up in time to get my hair done for the wedding, and A would have my head.
I don’t remember how I got home, but I do remember waking up the next morning with a massive headache and the usual bile spitting up my throat. I slapped my face a few times, mumbling “Get it together bridesmaid, get it together,” then got dressed and painfully went to the salon. I did feel a little better once I got a glass of cucumber water at the salon, but I may or may not have then immediately run to the restroom to “go pee” and instead violently projectile vomited an entire gallon of water into the salon toilet. Luckily even when I projectile vomit it’s still very graceful and accurate and I never miss or even make a splash. I wiped my mouth and got back in my chair to get my hair curled for the wedding, and I was ready to roll.
We took a limo from the salon to the wedding venue in the UES, which was very “Sex and the City”-esque, except that both the bride and the groom actually showed up to this wedding. I came prepared to the wedding with one of my favorite bridesmaid gifts from A to commemorate this special occasion:
Bridesmaid thong
Oh, and here are the getting-ready snacks we had in the room:
Snacks
I love mini yellow carrots! After getting ready, we went outside and literally stopped traffic in the freezing cold to take wedding pictures walking up and down Park Ave, which made us feel like celebs.
Obviously the wedding itself was awesome. The best was really watching this beautiful Korean couple getting married underneath a chuppah and the Korean groom breaking the glass at the end of the ceremony. Times really are modern. Yes, A is Jew.
But it just gets better. Cocktail hour may have been the best part. The hors d’oeuvres that were being passed around were unreal. Apparently it was all catered by Daniel Boulud — I nearly shat my pants.
Tuna tartare
Beef tenderloin
Foie gras
Somehow all these butlers got away before I could take pictures of all the hors d’oeuvres, but there was foie gras, beef tenderloin, tuna tartare, rock shrimp, crab cakes, and apparently there was a lobster thing that I missed that I was incredibly upset about, and there were about three other dishes I’m somehow forgetting. I couldn’t get enough of those foie gras things.
I change my mind — dinner was the best part. There was lobster AGAIN for dinner as the first course.
Dinner menu
Lobster
Short rib and beef tenderloin
The other part of this wedding that shocked me was that the band was actually amazing. I’m usually very anti-bands since no matter how good you think your band is, they will never be up-to-date with the latest top 40s. Maybe the top 40s from five years ago — just saying, Lady Gaga “Just Dance” hasn’t counted as a “new song” since 2008. But this band actually knew songs from 2013, which blew me away. I think I only sat out a total of two songs in the entire night, and it was just to get refills of champagne.
By the end of the night I was completely gone — and out of breath since I had been dancing for four hours straight, and I’m really out of shape. For the wedding after-party I was of course trying to get everyone to go to Dorrian’s, which was just a few blocks away, but somehow I kept getting shot down. Instead, the after-party was way down in SoHo, which I was like W-T-F about. I mean if the wedding is in UES, why wouldn’t we just stay in UES for the after-party. After trying a dozen more times to get people to agree to Dorrian’s, I got in a 45-minute cab down to the after-party venue, which I don’t even remember where it was because I was getting close to blackout. I got out of the cab, took one look at the line to get inside the club, and turned right back around and into another cab to head straight back up to UES to T’s apartment.
The wedding festivities didn’t end there. The post-wedding Sunday brunch was at Hill Country, and there’s no better way I like to start out my Sunday mornings than with a big plate full of meat.
Hill Country meat
Cornbread and bacon
The pictures are deceiving and aren’t doing the brunch justice, but there was actually a lot more meat than this. It was awesome. It couldn’t have been a more fun weekend. Mazel tov A+B!!!
Poverexic in NYC 