Poverexic in NYC

This weekend was full of wonderful birthdays, starting with G’s bday on Friday, F’s bday on Saturday and C’s bday on Sunday.  While I was super excited for all these upcoming bdays, my stomach hadn’t quite been feeling like itself these days and so I was worried going into the weekend about how much food/booze I would actually physically be able to take advantage of.

Friday night turned out somewhat disastrous when I pregamed too much at C’s before we headed out to Tortilla Flats, and by “too much” I mean I got drunk off 2 glasses of white wine because I hadn’t eaten anything all day except a humongous cup of black coffee due to the sensitive stomach.  Later that night I met up with 2 Kitty Chows who were in town at Drop Off Service, but my stomach yet again still didn’t feel so hot so I didn’t even have a drink there, went home later that night, and puked up black vomit that consisted of the white wine mixed in with the entire huge cup of black coffee that was in my stomach.  Really wasn’t a pretty sight and reminded me of that horrible time I vomited 3 Jager bombs back in college… anyway.

Saturday was a beautiful day for a rooftop party which is what we did to celebrate F’s bday for his annual “pool party” that has never actually ever been a pool party but rather a rooftop party with a hidden indoor pool that you can only discover if you go up a hidden set of stairs and down a really long corridor and then there’s the indoor pool.  Every year there are maybe two people actually in the pool, and I’m just waiting for the year when some girl actually shows up in a bikini and cover-up to the rooftop party and we all laugh at her.

F’s party is always a blast, and he always has the most impressive open bar set up outside including my favs like Grey Goose and Jack, so I double fisted a Grey Goose and diet coke and a Jack and diet while catching up with old friends.  I was sad to have to leave the party early but was really looking forward to the next bday that M and I were attending, which was C’s bday dinner at Boqueria.

I’d never been to this Boqueria place in Soho, but I heard the food was incred, AND IT WAS.  It’s a tapas place where you pay $40 and they just keep bringing you out endless plates of tapas that’s catered to your likes.  Here are just a few highlights of what we had:

• Grilled bread rubbed with tomato, garlic and olive oil
• Blistered Shishito peppers, coarse sea salt
• Sautéed spinach, garbanzos, pine nuts, garlic, raisins
• Sautéed wild mushrooms, pork guanciale, Manchego cheese
• Crispy potatoes, “salsa brava,” roasted garlic all i oli
• Salt-cod fritters, citrus all i oli
• Shrimp, garlic, and Guindilla pepper in olive oil
• Creamy croquettes; three each of mushroom and chard
• Baby squid a la plancha, arugula, olive, crispy radish, garbanzos
• Seared lamb marinated in lemon and cumin, salsa verde
• Hanger steak a la plancha, seasonal market vegetables

Boqueria

Lamb

Balls

It was all INCRED.  And to make things even better, the other people at the table were NOT EATING EVERYTHING and so I’m pretty sure I ended up eating twice as much as the other 6 people at the table who were actually eating small tapas-sized portions like refined people rather than full-on meals like I was.  I was one lucky girl.  And to top it off, we had churros y chocolate for dessert.

Happy birthday friends!!!

Last night was the season premiere of GLEE, which can only mean one thing:  STEAK.

Actually what we really wanted was rare duck breast, but when I went to Food Emporium they gave me the saddest news I could have ever received from a grocery store: they had discontinued duck.  YOU ALL ARE MONSTERS!!!!!!!!!!!  I hated them.

I also had no idea what to get now that duck was out, so I immediately called roommate L all frantic and about to cry over no duck.  But he calmed me down with a simple, “What don’t you just get steak.”

Oh, right.  That makes sense.  So I got a steak, and because I was already feeling adventurous, I got lamb that looked like steak AND a steak.  I am genius.

And roommate L is even more genius, look-alook-alook-alook-alook-aaaa!!!!!

Lamb

Steak

It was brilliant.  What wasn’t so brilliant was the season premiere of GLEE.  We had such high hopes for it, and then the only good song they featured was Telephone.  Except that short ugly Asian chick with really wide-set eyes ruined the song because she took my spot on the cast.  I could have done some serious Gaga on the show.  Now they’ll never know.

Went phone shopping with S today because my current phone is a piece of crap and there’s a huge crack across the entire screen so that I can’t even see what I’m typing when I send texts so I always have to just hope for the best.  Not only that, but my phone has gotten to the point where it doesn’t even last a full work day on its own in my purse — it dies after a few hours even if it starts out 100% fully charged, so I have to bring my charger to work and it’s annoying as hell.

Anyway, long story short I didn’t end up buying a phone even though I went in with 100% intention to do so because my dad offered to buy me the phone as a belated bday present, but I got all indecisive and couldn’t decide whether to go for a data phone or non-data phone because the only thing I ever use my phone for is a) to call Tasty King on Saturday and Sunday afternoons and b) to text…. people…. on the weekends.

So I got all flustered and figured the only thing that could cheer me up was VAMOS! all-you-can-eat tacos and one margarita for $19, and I made roommate K come with me because S had to “go to the gym.”  Despite my very full sushi lunch special earlier in the day, I was starving by the time dinner came around circa 7:30pm so I was really glad for the all-you-can-eat.  Last time I came to VAMOS! all-you-can-eat tacos with S and roommate K, I really disappointed myself because I only got through like 7 tacos, which is unacceptable by poverexic standards.

Today, I was determined to do better, and I had a few strategies in mind:

1. Peel off the double tortilla.  I hate all-you-can-eat places that “sneakily” double their carbs because it’s so obvious what they’re trying to do and you can see right through it unless you’re an idiot.  So of course for every taco I only kept one thin layer of tortilla and hid the second layer underneath a pile of shredded napkins.
2. Order your next round of tacos as the waitress brings your current plate.  I made a huge mistake between round 1 and 2 when I waited until I finished plate 1 to order plate 2.  That was no longer for the rest of the dinner.  I also hate slow people.
3. Utilize multiple wait staff.  They’re all on the floor working for a reason.  Use them all.  This way you get double – and even triple – orders in one go.
4. Make roommate do all the talking.  This way you can focus all your time and effort on eating.  I did a lot of nodding and smiling with my mouth full during tonight’s dinner (that’s what she said).
5. Disregard dirty looks.  THAT’S RIGHT, THIS BITCH GONNA CLEAN OUT YO KITCHEN AND AIN’T NOTHIN’ YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!!! … except kick you out of the restaurant.  This didn’t happen to me today because Mexicans are nice, but I did once get kicked out of an all-you-can-eat sushi place in Dallas for only eating the fish and leaving piles and piles of rice on my plate.  This is why I dislike Asians.

Anyway, end of story, I ate 12 tacos today which I thought was a pretty good improvement from my last time at VAMOS!  Basically it was this X 6:

VAMOS TACOS

Here’s what I had (2 of each):

• TACOS DE SALMON (GRILLED SALMON TOPPED WITH MANGO-SERRANO SALSA)
• TACOS “ CONCHINITA PIBIL” (SLOW ROASTED ACHIOTE-MARINATED PORK WITH HABANERO PICKLED ONIONS)
• TACOS DEL PESCADOR (GRILLED CATCH OF THE DAY WITH CABBAGE AND TOMATILLO-MANGO SALSA)
• TACOS DE CARNE ASADA (GRILLED MARINATED SKIRT STEAK WITH PICKLED ONIONS AND GUACAMOLE)
• TACOS AL PASTOR (ROASTED PORK AND PINEAPLE AND PICO DE GALLO)
• TACOS DE POLLO AL CARBON (CHICKEN AL CARBON WITH ORANGE SALSITA)

By now I’ve tried every kind of VAMOS! taco, and the tacos al pastor are by far the best.  VIVA VAMOS!!!

Had a pretty uneventful weekend, but I guess it’s hard to beat last weekend.  Saturday was supposed to be another joint bday party with A for consecutive bday celebratory weekends, but that fell through when host WP disinvited me following last weekend’s events.  Probably for the better since who knows how many other girls I would have beaten up if I had continued thinking it was my bday.  Fuck yeah!

So instead roommates and I started the night early with our usual routine of drinking and hookah-ing in our cozy apt while listening to roommate M’s latest tunes on our Apple TV.  Roommate K bought us a huge bottle of Kettle One, which we finished over a carton of OJ and we were set for the night.  That followed by martinis with M and W at Simone’s followed by free Maker’s Mark on the rocks at A’s rooftop party followed by all-night dancing at Alphabet Lounge destroyed me before I knew it and made me feel like death all day today.

Good thing roommates M and L came to the rescue by working their kitchen miracles and whipping up some leftover mashed potatoes and leftover steak slices and creating something genius.

Magic

It's a Christmas miracle!

The best hangover food ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just kidding.  They actually made that several weeks ago but it’s what I was really craving today when I woke up with a massive headache and puke in my stomach.  So instead we convinced roommate K to order an entire pizza “for herself” but of course as usual she only ate like 2 slices and roommates M/L and I got the rest.  We win!

Best roommates in the world M/L/K took me out to a b-day dinner last night at surprise location Shang, celebrity chef Susur Lee‘s restaurant (the guy who was on Top Chef Masters).  And it was AMAZING!!!  Best roommate b-day dinner ever.  I started out with a Shang Caipirinha (Agua Luca Cachaca, fresh lime, lychee, tarragon) and Forbidden Fruit (Svedka Citron, aperol, fresh lemon, wildflower honey), which were both refreshingly strong.

Then for starters we had dericious lettuce wraps:

Lettuce Wraps

And calamari with habanero chili dip:

Calamari

And for entrees K/I got the duck – specially cooked medium rare for us – and M/L got the miso black cod:

Duck

Miso Black Cod

IT WAS THE MOST DERICIOUS DINNER IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And to finish off was my bday dessert!!!

Chocolate dericiousness

It was truly the bestest.  My bday weekend was definitely a huge win in all ways possible.  FUCK YEA.

Yesterday = Birfday = Sake Bombitzvah at New Ashiya joint bday party with A and 25 of our closest friends.  It was the best poverexic day ever — the entire day my friends kept buying me free gifts and free food and free booze.  I loves them.  Yesterday was a perfect night that started out with best roommates ever M/L/K gifting me the best new giant purple waterproof vib that I love, followed by SB gifting me a perfect mini Kettle One bottle that we downed prior to all-you-can-eat/all-you-can-drink sake bombing festivities at New Ashiya, my fav place in the world.  I’m not quite sure downing all that vodka before an all-you-can-sake-bombing event was such a smart idea… I was getting more and more blackout throughout the 2-hour dinner which is the point of a birthday and I didn’t even eat that much sushi.

the only plate of sushi I ate

I actually didn’t even think I did as many bombs as I could have until I realized that roommate K who was sitting across from me had been secretly pouring more and more sake into my beer whenever I wasn’t looking throughout the entire night for every bomb I did, and by the last bomb I was literally sitting there with a glass full of clear liquid that I downed thinking it was water but nope it was sake.

This meant I was already pretty blackout by midnight when we were heading over to Arlo & Esme for the after party, which was fun for the first hour until some guy started really obnoxiously dancing up against me.  I’m not sure if it was all the vodka and sake or the fact that it was my birthday and I felt like I could just do whatever the hell I wanted, but the guy was really annoying me so I just turned around and punched him in the face, and then his friend who was a girl freaks out and is like “WHAT THE FUCCCKKK” and was being an annoying cunt so I started a physical fight with both of them in the middle of the dance floor….. oops because 10 minutes later up comes the bouncer and is like “Miss, you need to leave” and apparently the girl was threatening to press charges against me.  Who are these vaginas!!!!!!!!!!!  Luckily I had a party of 20 guys with me who continued the fight for me as the bouncer was pushing me out the door and subsequently pushing the rest of our party out the door, so I guess that was that.  I got kicked out of a bar on my birthday.

In the words of M/L:  WHAT A CHAMPION.