Sunday 1/11

12 Jan

i ate so well today. today was a good day.

i received a whole foods gift card in the mail today from my savior N, who took pity on my poverexic situation. he is truly MAGIC. no one kinder than he. i was so excited that i immediately ran over to whole foods to buy myself 3 cans of soup and 5 annie chun’s asian noodle bowls. i was certain i had calculated precisely, but when i got to the register, the entire total ran 16 cents too short. fuck. i had under-calculated. in a panic not to waste a single cent, i ran over and grabbed the first thing i saw – a bar of chocolate – which i idiotically assumed would only cost about $1. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?! it was $3.69. $3.69!!!!!!!!!! THAT’S MORE EXPENSIVE THAN THOSE CANNED SOUPS AND ANNIE CHUN NOODLE BOWLS!!!!!!!!!!! this is just absurd. i was so angry. so angry.

i was so angry that when i arrived to S’s apartment later on to watch the premiere of 24, i tried to get rid of the despicable choc by offering it to S and his roommates. no one wanted it. UGH!!!!!!!!!!! so fucking annoying. but i couldn’t throw it away. i NEVER throw food away, even if i don’t want it. that bar of chocolate was like my unborn child to me – disgusting and unwanted, but i just couldn’t get myself to get rid of it.

anyhoo fast forward an hour, and in preparation for the big TV night ahead of us, S orders enough chinese food to feed a mormon family. fully aware of my poverexic situation, S generously offers me his fried dumprings, beef fried rice, peking duck, and shumai. it was rearry dericious. when we’re done with dinner and tv, he starts putting all the trash in one bag, and reaches for the two takeout boxes of white rice as if to throw them away. STOP RIGHT THERE!!!!!!!! i shout. i’ll take those. those poor unwanted boxes of white rice that no one ever wants. don’t worry, i will take you home. i gently tuck them into my overly humongoid purse and smile hugely, knowing that i’ll have enough food to feed myself tomorrow.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: