Today was team lunch with boss S who is on maternity leave because she recently became with child. We went to Dean’s, just a hop, skip and a jump away from the office, a faux Patsy’s with delish pizza and salad. Boss S brought little R who is just a little peanut (did someone say peanuts?!?!), and there were a few awk moments throughout the lunch where it became awkwardly apparent just how inexperienced I was with babies, such as when I asked if little R wanted a bite of my pizza (apparently 2-month-olds don’t eat real food, although I am pretty sure I was eating rice and fish by 3 months). I alleviated the awkwardness by eating the rest of the table’s bowl of salad with huge chunks of tomato and artichoke, and then eating one slice of margarita pizza, one slice of veggie pizza, one half slice of veggie pizza that I split with J, then one half slice of veggie pizza that I split with M, and then the last slice of veggie pizza that was left on the table. I watched nervously and hunched over my plate as the waitress came by and took away S’s plate, then J’s plate, D’s plate, M’s plate, K’s, A’s, L’s, mine-OH NO YOU DON’T YOU BITCH. I’M STILL FINISHING MY PIZZA AND SALAD.
That became another awk moment.
And then boss S picked up the entire tab!!!!!!!!! Awk moment alleviated once more. She is like the Jewish mother I never had, she feeds me and keeps me healthy and alive. ARIIIVVVVEEEEEEEE!!!
Poverexic in NYC 