Monday 8/17

17 Aug

I arrived at work to a pleasant surprise today — as I opened the fridge to put in my leftover Tasty King chicken and broccoli with white rice from yesterday in my usual location, I noticed that I had completely forgotten I still had leftover Penang pad thai from Friday’s dinner that coworker D and I expensed, which was just sitting there so peacefully and patiently in the office fridge with my name on it.  YES!!!  This was so great.  So that meant that today for lunch, I had the leftover pad thai from Friday’s dinner, and for dinner today I had leftover chicken and broccoli with white rice from yesterday.

THEN!  Later in the afternoon I came across the most incred opportunity ever.  C – who writes for Time Out New York – forwarded me the following reporter inquiry:

Hello all staff!
We are looking for a totally disgusting and unclean kitchen for a photo shoot next week. Anyone got one? And would you be willing to let us shoot someone nude in there on Monday?

GASPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!! OMG YES OUR KITCHEN IS TOTALLY DISGUSTING AND UNCLEAN AND CAN I BE THE NUDE MODEL?!?!?!?!  Given my penchant for naked photo shoots ( I was ready to jump on this shit.  As the wise Pamela Anderson once said, “I always think clothes make you look fat, so I prefer to be naked.”

Naked + Photo Shoot + Food + Dirty = ASJFKLH*%!@JKDS*&^@IYHJKHJKFYD*&^*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Roommate L was equally excited.  Our thoughts were as follows:

L: I could shave my chest and sprinkle hair everywhere.  We could have chicken cutlets all over us, with orange and grapefruit pulps on us as well, with the caption “Who wants to juice?!?!”

me: rather than chicken cutlets i would prefer tasty king lunch special chicken and broccoli with white rice sprinkled over me

………… Alas, it was all a tease.  Apparently the Time Out photo editor already had a model in mind.  What a bitch.  She has no idea what she’s missing out on.

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