Monday 11/9

9 Nov

This weekend was J’s bachelorette party in my hometown Dallas — my first bachelorette party ever AKA PARTY IN THE USA!!!!!!!!!!!!  This weekend was incred and completely brought me back to high school, not only because I spent the weekend with J and D but more so because we visited old high school fav spots like gay club The Village.  More on this later.

Anyway what I appreciated about this weekend other than the fact that there were penis icons everywhere was that this was a 100% poverexic friendly weekend.  L and M&M did such a great job acknowledging the fact that we are all poor and broke.  When L sent out an email regarding budget for this bachelorette party weekend a few weeks ago, I nearly had a heart attack when I realized how cheap everywhere in this country was outside of NYC.  This party budget was about half of how much moola it would cost me to get one night of blackout in NYC.

Friday night’s highlight was when we played ‘Pin the Dick on M’ and I won first place (my placement was impeccable and my instinct extraordinary) — my prize was a bunch of tiny candy penises which were about the size of Asian Ds.

Penis Candy

Penis Candy

Then Saturday night started out at the W Hotel with this:

Bachelorette Punch

Bachelorette Punch

Followed by this (BIG BOY!!!):

Big Boy

Big Boy

M&M did a great job picking out such a beautiful looking cake with blue veins and pubes and all.  Then after the penis cake we went to a club that looked oddly very familiar to me….. why was it so familiar to me……. OH I KNOW, our friends and I used to go there when we were 17 because that was the only 17+ club in Dallas that played techno music and served underage kids, and the same drag queen Crystal who was there 10 years ago was still there.  She/he looked pretty much the same, except with a saggier ass and much more botox.

Another incredibly pleasant surprise was that drinks there were $2 (WHAT! only in Texas).  I guess the surprise lasted through the middle of the night when I woke up to projectile a gallon of pretty in pink $2 alcoholic juices into the toilet, which apparently woke up and disgusted M, prompting her to follow my lead in gagging up some of her liquor immediately after me.

Even with all the countless shots and I-couldn’t-keep-track-of-how-many drinks, this entire weekend of bachelorette activities was still way cheaper than one single weekend night in NYC, not to mention we ordered in dinner both nights (pasta on Friday, pizza on Saturday), and my parents took me out to sushi and steak lunches on Friday and Saturday, respectively, adding super extra bonus points to my poverexic weekend.

Can’t wait for J’s wedding over New Years — THERE’S GOING TO BE SO MUCH FREE FOOD AND SO MANY FREE BOYS.

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: