Today was a huge disappointment. I organized this huge event tonight at the Yale Club (GO CRIMSON) for current and prospective clients, and I didn’t eat all day in preparation for it because I knew the beginning of the event was going to start off with heavy hors d’oeuvres, and I LOOOOOOOVE heavy hors d’oeuvres because usually everyone else will start saying ‘no’ to the butler after a few rounds, and I never say no, and they are always hired to just keep serving until forever. So I just keeeeeeep taking those delicious little mini bites off his plates until forever.
With such high expectations going into the event, I was doomed for disappointment. I don’t know what I was thinking when working with the event coordinator when organizing this event, but I guess I was just too slammed with other work to pay more attention and closely review the most important part of her responsibility: THE CATERING MENU. Huge mistake. Literally the plates that came around during the cocktail session looked like something right out of the freezer aisle at a crappy grocery store. AND to make matters worse, it hadn’t occurred to me before that as the main organizer of the event, I would have no time to pick at food since it’s unprofessional to spend more time chasing after the butlers than schmoozing with the clients.
Nevertheless, I was still confused about the selection of hors d’oeuvres after I got home from the event, and I went back through my emails and took a closer look at what the event coordinator had picked. I immediately saw what was wrong:
- Santa Fe chicken flower — WHAT THE FUCK IS A CHICKEN FLOWER
- Vegetable dim sum — VEGETARIAN?!?!??!?? WHAT?!??!???!
- Spicy samosa with cucumber yogurt sauce — VEGETARIAN?!?!??!?? WHAT?!??!???!
- Rosemary skewed fruit kabob with honey — VEGETARIAN?!?!??!?? WHAT?!??!???!
- Blue corn tortilla cup with roasted corn relish, guacamole and salsa — VEGETARIAN?!?!??!?? WHAT?!??!???!
- Asparagus and prosciutto sundried tomato wrap — WHERE WAS THIS ONE I DEFINITELY DID NOT SEE THIS ONE OUT THERE AND THIS WAS THE BEST ONE ON THE MENU?!?!??!?!??!?!??!?!??!?!??!??!?!
Ohhhhhh the failureeeeee the failureeeeeee. Alas, I had extremely little substance in my stomach and was starving leaving the event and cursed Zooey Deschanel and Natalie Portman and every other Hollywood vegetarian/vegan who made this a fad. Now let’s go out there and KILL SOME COWS!!!!!!
Poverexic in NYC 