J’S WEDDING WAS THE WEDDING OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Weddings are seriously the best free event for guests ever invented by mankind. As the first wedding I’ve ever been in, this one definitely far exceeded my expectations. This was an entire weekend just packed full of activities:
New Year’s Eve — happy hour, dinner, going out
New Year’s Day — bridal brunch, rehearsal dinner, dessert party
Wedding Day — brunch, cocktail hour, reception dinner, wedding cake
And New Year’s Day and Wedding Day were LITERALLY 100% FREE AND DERICIOUS. HEART J AND HER FAM!!!!!!!
Free meal #1: Bridal brunch — homemade blintzes with fruit, cinnamon buns and mimosas:
Bridal Brunch
Free meal #2: Rehearsal dinner — BY FAR the best food experience of the entire weekend.
First, butler-style hors d’oeuvres that were constantly being passed around, along with trays of silver coin margaritas and trays of red and white wine, and it was all SO GOOD. There was this sweetened ham thing on crostini, oyster with spinach and cheese in its oyster shell, ceviche with a creamy fish sauce, beef cheeks, veggie egg rolls, and some delicious thing on cucumber. Not exaggerating, I had 5 ham things, 4 oysters, 3 ceviches, 4 beef cheeks, 2 egg rolls and 2 cucumber things. The butler and I quickly became bff because I was the only one paying so much attention to him, and every time he’d come straight to me and stick the tray in my face and go “You know you waaaannnnnttttttt!!!” Uhhhhhhhhh YES PREASEEEEEEE.
Rehearsal Dinner Hors D'Oeuvres
THEN THE REHEARSAL DINNER WAS THE MEAL I HAD BEEN WAITING FOR ALL THESE MONTHS: THE CORNBREAD STUFFED QUAIL AND FILET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG it was everything I had ever hoped and dreamed.
Cornbread Stuffed Quail
Free meal #3: Dessert party — after the dinner party there were little mini desserts being passed around, accompanied by even more wine and margaritas. They were all INCRED.
Dessert Party
This was all incred for me, but I was sitting next to bff D who kept having bad luck this rehearsal dinner night. First, poor D over there was 1 of 2 Jews at this entire wedding, and she’s the real Jew kind so she couldn’t eat the ham things UM ONLY THE BEST ITEM ON THAT ENTIRE TRAY. Unfortunate Jew. Second, she chose the salmon dish over the cornbread stuffed quail and filet. Poor choice. Third, she’s allergic to chocolate so she couldn’t try the most delicious dessert of them all: the mini chocolate cakes with raspberry. THREE STRIKES AND YOU’RE OUT, MY FRIEND! Actually not really. Regardless of food choice/restrictions, everything was super dericious. I ate so much and my dress was so tight at the waist that by the end of the night, I was literally throwing up a little in my mouth. In a happy way.
Free meal #4: Wedding day lunch — a really good beef sandwich on olive bread with sea salt chips while we’re getting J ready for her big day:
Wedding Day Lunch
Free meal #5: Wedding reception!!! The big day came with mini quesadillas, quiches and crab cakes during cocktail hour, followed by an incred soup, salad and chicken cordon bleu type dish EXCEPT WITH BACON BITS INSIDE with mashed potatoes and green beans. Again, Jew D couldn’t eat the bacon bits so I hovered over her plate eating the bacon while she ate the chicken around it.
Wedding Reception
The best free portion of the wedding reception, though, was the open bar where I had 2 margaritas, 4 Jack and cokes and a glass of red wine and wasn’t even tipsy because of all the dericious food that I had consumed over the past several days that was padding my happy belly.
This was seriously the best weekend ever. Despite my strong feelings against monogamy, I strongly support the social celebration that always accompanies marriages. Cheers to J&M!!!
Poverexic in NYC 