Went to the SABRE awards dinner at Cipriani’s last night, and it was INCRED. I’d never been to an awards dinner before and I really felt like I was at the Oscars… food-wise.
Arrived there to immediately head to the open bar where I picked myself up a glass of champagne followed by a bellini as I spent 30 minutes chasing around the butlers in my high heels following the hors d’oeuvre plates of pork and apricot slices, pesto filled cherry tomatoes, caviar and blinis, etc etc etc. The award ceremony began shortly thereafter, and after each chunk of winners was announced, they’d bring out more and more food. First a plate of 4 perfectly seared scallops on a bed of greens and mushrooms, then a glass of red wine, then some awards. My boss to my left doesn’t like seafood so she sent the scallops back and requested a Greek salad instead. My boss to my right doesn’t eat, so she only ate 1.5 scallops and picked at the rest. !??!?!??!?!??!?!??!?!??!??!?! UGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.
To calm my increasing frustration and anxiety with the amount of scallops that were going uneaten around me, I inadvertently kept saying yes to the guy who came around every 2 seconds (that’s what she said!) asking if I wanted a refill on my wine until I remembered I was with important people at the company.
I forgot 2 seconds later and ordered myself another glass of champagne, and then… A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE. Out comes an entire trough full of the B-I-G-G-E-S-T cuts of perfectly cooked rare steak I have ever seen in my entire life, accompanied by roasted potatoes and a bundle of asparagus. My boss to my left was so disgusted by the size of the steak cut that she sent it back and ordered the vegetarian dish instead. !??!??!?!??!?!??!?!??!??!?! My boss to my right was so disgusted by the rareness of the steak that she sent it back and ordered the fish instead. !??!??!?!??!?!??!?!??!??!?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!??!??!?!? I started to whimper after each of those incidences until I remembered I had to act like a lady with manners in front of important people. Needless to say, I finished every single bit on my plate, literally, then requested another bellini.
By this point I was composed enough to have non-chinky eyes but tipsy enough that my slightly uninhibited self started blabbering about all the useless junior people at our company when I suddenly caught my boss glaring at me from the corner of my eyes. I immediately shut up about work and pretended like I was talking about my friends.
Last came the most generous slice of chocolate mousse cake I’ve ever seen in my life, followed by coffee, followed by dessert trays full of mini eclairs, fruit tarts, chocolate cakes, lemon tarts, cookies, and chocolate covered strawberries. It was surreal. The glamorous world of PR…
Poverexic in NYC 