July 4th weekend was kind of a blur. M/K/W and I, along with 3 other girls, were staying in the Crack House in East Hampton and it was… an interesting weekend. We arrived last Friday night and knew wherever we were going to go out, there would be a 3 hour line outside, so we naturally started drinking aggressively at the Crack House so we would be able to better tolerate the crowds outside and the $15 drinks at bars. W started mixing some serious vodka tonics that were left at the house (read: free), and I can’t even remember what else we drank, but before we knew it, we were all close to blackout by the time we left the Crack House and headed to Talkhouse. Of course there was a 3 hour line outside Talkhouse and since I was with 6 determined girls, we waited in line. The rest of waiting in line is kind of a blur, but all I remember is that half way through, I suddenly found a hot dog on the ground right next to me that W had apparently discarded (it was on a paper plate ok….), so I picked it up and happily ate it because it was free and I was starving by then. Meanwhile people behind me were whispering things like “I wonder if that hot dog is roofied.” But I knew it was W’s so I was fine. Once we got inside after forever, I ran into a million people I knew, including C who was known on campus for exchanging sex for drugs. Unfortunately I didn’t have any on me so I didn’t get lucky.
The next morning we all woke up to the worst hangover ever, which was cured by a day sleeping on the beach. That night we were determined to go out earlier so we could avoid the 3 hour lines, but once again we got too caught up in our pregame. I decided to make my specialty Pink Panty Dropper drink, which J had introduced at D’s bachelorette party where no one was drinking it. I couldn’t understand it at the time since J/K and I thought it was the most delicious drink ever made, and we were actually quite offended that no one else was drinking it at the bachelorette party. It was literally just vodka and pink lemonade, so I knew the Crack House girls would love it. I poured the entire handle of vodka that was leftover in the freezer into a pitcher along with one packet of Crystal Light and some soda water, and I served it confidently to all the girls. Unfortunately all the other girls except me spat it out, saying it was disgusting, and I finally got it: No one else liked the drink because it was too strong. So I practically finished off the entire pitcher with some help from W and K who drank it against their will. After that, we still weren’t done pregaming so we opened up one of the Four Lokos I had brought (my contribution to the house) along with a bottle of champagne and finished those off in our car with this sketchy driver we found who wanted to come out and party with us.
When we got to Surf Lodge too late, there was of course another 3 hour line and some of these girls really had to pee, so W and J went to go pee in the woods right next to the bar while the rest of us waited in line. J came back promptly, but after W was MIA for about 20 minutes, all of us got a little worried. We decided she was either a) taking a shit in the woods or b) getting raped in the woods, so we went around yelling her name trying to find her. After a few minutes she emerged from the woods with a group of people who were yelling, “Does anyone know this girl?!?! Is this your friend?!?!” OMG. We ran to her and thanked the kind souls, who told us that she had been taking a nap in the woods after she had taken a piss. W – what a champ. After we decided to forget Surf Lodge, we went to The Memory instead where we stayed for a few hours. Too bad that when we all were ready to leave, we waited outside literally for another 3 hours for a car back home. W had broken her shoe, K was trying to hitch hike a ride back with drunk teenagers, and we were all a mess.
The next morning we all woke up to the worst hangover ever, which was cured by a day sleeping on the beach. This time we ACTUALLY got our acts together to go out early, and early meant 4pm. We headed back to Surf Lodge, where we did get in this time since it was 4pm, and we decided to stay there for dinner and a night of drinking. The best meal I had all weekend – fresh lobster roll. Most expensive gourmet hot dog I’ve ever ordered in my life, but it was worth it.
Hamptons Lobster Roll: $24 (anti-poverexic)
After 5 bottles of wine, we were all wasted at dinner by 8pm. Unfortunately that also meant we all had terrible hangovers by midnight, and I couldn’t sleep at all that night because I wasn’t blackout when I hit the couch. Next day was another day at the beach, and without even seeing any fireworks we headed back to Manhattan, which we had all missed. Driving back to Manhattan and seeing the city, I think we all teared up a little because we were so relieved to come back to a city where we could walk into bars if we wanted without waiting in a 3-hour line, where chicken salad sandwiches were $8 not $14, and where we had our own apartments where there weren’t 7 girls sharing one bathroom.
Happy Independence Day.
Poverexic in NYC 