Poor roommate G is sick as a dog. It killed me when he ordered Chinese last night because I knew how dangerous it would be to take a bite of flu-infected food. But some things are worth the risk.
I kept a close eye on him the entire time we were watching American Idol. He offered me some of his fried calamari, and luckily I got to it first before he had touched any of it, so I scored a few bites (!!!). Half hour later, he put his fried calamari and Beef Kung Pow or whatever the fuck that was down, and he had barely finished half of each dish. It was killing me that he was contagiously sick. He had already gotten our other roommate L sick too.
An hour later, he still hadn’t even opened his small box of white rice. I waited until he finally got off the couch to yell CAN I HAVE YOUR WHITE RICE. Of course the answer was yes (99.5% success rate, especially because I was way over my usual “10-minute” rule).
Hours later after we had finished watching Idol, The Office and 30 Rock (good rerun) and some other random shit, G opens up the empty brown takeout bag and reaches for the only-half-empty container of fried calamari.
me (instinctively, arms flailing): DAHHHHHJAHSDJKFHAJKSHDFJKHAKJLSHJKFHAJKSHDF
G: What the fuck is your problem?!?!??!??!??!
me: What the fuck is YOUR problem were you going to throw all that away?!?!?!??!??!?!
G: okokok fine you can have it.
me: Oh shit… wait… you’re sick though.
G: I’m not contagious.
me: You got L sick.
G: I fucked my gf and she’s not sick.
me: Ok, good enough.
In conclusion, I’ve got some really great Chinese food to look forward to this weekend. TGIF!
Poverexic in NYC 