In Defense of Poverexia
Today roommate G chastised me, essentially, for being a moocher. Now I’ve heard this time and time again, and I can completely see how someone who just casually observes my habits might think so. But observe carefully, my friend: I don’t take people’s food; I take people’s waste. What people fail to realize is just how much waste they produce on a daily basis, and I’m not talking about shit. I literally wait until you put the leftover chow mein in the trash to yell STOP RIGHT THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I literally wait until the waiter takes away your far-from-empty plate to yell STOP RIGHT THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s amazing how far one individual can go on everyone else’s waste. When I was a waitress at the Hong Kong Bar & Restaurant, I survived off secretly eating people’s leftover scallion pancakes and crab rangoon.
That’s a lie. We had a free dining hall back then. derrr… awk.
Anyway, today G ate his sesame beef but then started to throw away the container that still had 6 healthy pieces of broccoli in it.
ASDKHljkh@#*&^&%!^@&^(AJKAHSDKJ@# I yelled.
Jesus, you’re such a scrounger!
No sir, I prefer the term “garbage disposal.” My little garbage disposal.
Poverexic in NYC 