Archive | April, 2009

Monday 4/6

6 Apr

After dropping a shitload of moola on Alphabet Lounge and Marquee on Friday and Saturday, I was really glad the rest of my weekend was sans payment.

C was visiting for the weekend — last time I saw her was 4 years ago when we were both loving life, drinking Skol and eating pineapples on Ipanema beach.  On Sunday, to reminisce over our good ole Brazilian days, I took C to brunch at Coffee Shop where we had pao de queijo, and I had a spinach feta omlette with rosemary potatoes and wheat toast.  C had a Chinese chicken salad, which I didn’t quite understand given that she’s vegetarian — which actually worked out great because she just picked out all the lettuce and the rest of the salad, and left all of her chicken – FOR ME!  AND THEN!!!!  SHE PAID FOR MY ENTIRE LUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was so full after brunch that I literally felt like I was with child — so naturally, to fill my dessert compartment, I took C to Tasti D, where we had cinnamon crunch and original froyo for a taste of NYC.

THEN!!!!!!!  After going to ‘Fast and the Furious’ (best movie ever), I accompanied S to Whole Foods, where we bought ingredients for the most incred dinner ever, cooked by S: steak, red snapper, crab cake, crawfish cake, green beans and heart of palm.  And then, I gave birth to a cow.

I was so full from the weekend that I didn’t even have to eat anything today except for 2 birthday cupcakes.  On a separate note, this is the greatest invention ever:  http://www.seriouseats.com/2009/04/giant-cheetos-regular-puff-swirl-snack-review.html

Friday 4/3

3 Apr

Well I think I hit a new low last night.  I came home to find G eating some delicious looking fried calamari and sushi and L finishing up his Chinese food.  To be honest, I wasn’t that hungry when I first got home, although, now that I look back, I think I only had ramen, 8 cookies and a bag of sugar balls the entire day.  As soon as I got out of the shower, though, I was starved.  By the look on his face, L was too.  He was staring at G’s brown bag of trash.  I looked at L, he looked at me, we both looked at the trash bag.  Suddenly, L finally caves and reaches into the trash and pulls out the empty box of fried calamari, where there were some damp pieces of lettuce on which the calamari used to lay.  We grabbed the leftover thing of calamari sauce and began dipping the lettuce in the sauce and eating it.  Afterwards, we were slightly grossed out (not really though) and washed it all down with our good friend Jack.  So I guess that was my dinner last night.

12:26 pm

GASP!!!!!!  A bunch of my coworkers and I just ordered sushi for lunch (I was prepared to spend $11 + tip), but then OUR BOSS PICKED UP OUR TAB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Heart boss!  This is the best day ever, after yesterday’s worst night ever.

Thursday 4/2

2 Apr

A lovely limerick composed by roommate L:

There once was a young lass named Lisa
Who loved nothing more than free pizza
With food she did mooch
Did the same with her cooch
Poverexic girls like guys with platinum Visa’s

Wednesday 4/1

1 Apr

As my favorite poet once said, April is the cruellest month.  And April Fool’s is the most retarded day.  People either come up with the lamest jokes, like “oh hey guess what, I ate 3 meals today ……….. APRIL FOOOOOLLLLLLL’S” or the cruellest jokes, like “oh hey guess what, I’ve been fucking your boyfriend for the past year ……….. APRIL FOOOOOLLLLLLL’S ………. or NOT!”

Anyway, here’s a real April Fool’s for you:

Total Recall

Total Recall

Now that’s some scary shit.  Who the fuck knocked this bitch up?

Really, though, the real April Fool’s today for me was the fact that I literally had just put hot water on my ramen and started the microwave, LITERALLY, when coworker A finds me in the kitchen and goes “Did you see all that free food in the cafe??”

WHAT?!?!??!??! HOW DID I MISS THIS?!?!??!??!?! HOW COULD I HAVE MISSED THIS?!??!?!??! AND HOW COME I DIDN’T DISCOVER THIS *FREE FOOD* LITERALLY 2 SECONDS AGO, *BEFORE* I HAD STARTED MAKING THE RAMEN THAT *I HAD PAID FOR*!!??!?!??!?!?!  That was totally unfair.  I could have saved a ramen pack had I just discovered this free food 2 seconds earlier.  The real April Fool’s joke was on me.  I was so vindictive that I took the last remaining ham-brie sandwich, the rest of the bowtie pesto pasta, and half of the leftover rosemary potatoes, and then stuffed myself in under 3 minutes.