Poverexic in NYC

Day 2 of eating Charlie’s Southern Style Kitchen leftover fried chicken, mac and cheese and mashed potatoes.  Thanks to all the free meals yesterday, it looks like my Charlie’s leftovers from Sunday WILL last through Thursday as I had accurately predicted.

TODAY WAS THE BESTEST.  Kinda.

Day started out great when I came back to my desk from a 3 hour meeting and found a DERICIOUS PRESENT ON MY DESK.  and an IM from coworker P!!!

SHE IS MY ABSOLUTE FAV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEN!  Later in the afternoon around 6ish right as I was getting hungry for dinner, I found some proscuitto sandwiches, pasta, salad and fresh fruit on the cafe counter.

THEN!  Around 7ish my manager IMs me being like “What are you doing tonight, how late are you staying?”  I answer honestly as I am a terrible liar.  The next thing she says to me is “Ok, let’s go to dinner in Chinatown” (WHAT, YES!!!!!!!!!) “I have something I need to talk to you about.” (Oh shit, what………..)

I immediately panic and think shit I’m getting fired ……….. but at least I’m getting a free dinner out of it.

What the “talk” ended up being about was admin A — as expected.  That’s right.  The same admin who STOLE MY CAPE CODE CHIPS THE OTHER WEEK. Admin A hates me (hence, stealing my chips) so she talked back during her mid-year review when I had given her constructive criticism (i.e., negative feedback), but like, that’s exactly what reviews are for, hello, and plus YOU STOLE MY CHIPS.

I was so pissed during the entire “talk” as my manager tried to reconcile the tension between admin A and me and the only thing that comforted me was the wonton noodle soup, duck and bubble tea going into my stomach for free (along with the other two meals I had also eaten for free just a few hours ago).

Day 1 of eating Charlie’s Southern Style Kitchen leftover fried chicken, mac and cheese and mashed potatoes.

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Today roommate L informed me of this Discovery Channel feature on sharks and Seal Island (why he was watching this I do not know).  Seal Island is a small island near Cape Town that is home to a ton of Cape Fur Seals which in turn attracts a bunch of Great White Sharks.  Apparently research suggests that large feasts may induce mating in these Great White Sharks, as evidenced by observational studies in which huge whale carcasses are dropped in front of these sharks, they completely binge eat, and they get really full.  What happens is the large volume of food makes the sharks less aggressive, they get really dopey and exhibit drunken behavior, then they start mindlessly fucking.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_Z941j44IQ

This totally reminded me of you!!! exclaimed roommate L.  I smiled.

Thanks Tasty King beef and broccoli lunch special with pork fried rice and wonton soup — thanks to you, I have become the Great White Shark (more accurately known as the Great Yellow Shark).

I was unpleasantly woken up this morning at 12:30pm to a phone call from S who was calling me about brunch.  I had just thrown up bile a few hours ago and had completely forgotten that I had promised S I would eat an entire chicken with him at this all-you-can-eat fried chicken brunch at Charlie’s Southern Style Chicken in Harlem which is apparently known to have some of the best fried chicken in the country.  Why I promised him I’d do this I have no idea, since I don’t typically agree to go anywhere above 14th Street unless it’s to go to Tin Lizzie’s or Dorian’s in the UES.  Harlem should have been completely out of the question since I consider anything above 88th Street to no longer be Manhattan and I refuse to travel to other boroughs unless it’s to go to JFK or LGA, including Harlem which should be considered its own separate borough.  Today was especially not the day I wanted to travel outside my apartment given I was dying in my bed from A’s birthday bash the night before which is annually notorious for being a shitshow.  But S guilt tripped me and I felt bad so I got my hungover ass out of bed and met S at his office to go eat some fried chicken.

It was pouring and subway or walking was out of the question, so S and I grabbed a cab along with his coworker IM who was also questioning why he agreed to take a trip to Harlem on a Sunday afternoon.  Throughout the 30 minute and $20 cab ride I kept feeling more and more nauseated not only because I was going deeper and deeper into the heart of Harlem but also because I literally was about to puke up some more bile.  Finally, we arrive at 153 Street, IM and I  were appalled, and S was glowing with excitement for all the fried chicken he was about to eat.  I wasn’t even hungry anymore, and I was scared shitless I was going to get attacked by a poor person.

We get to Charlie’s and guess what.  You won’t even believe it.  Actually, we totally should have expected something like this.  THE PLACE HAD BEEN CLOSED FOR 8 MONTHS.  CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE IT.  LIKE REALLY!??!??!?!  ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.  Classic, this is fantastic, I couldn’t even believe it, I wanted to hurl on S’s face, I couldn’t believe I had gotten my ass out of bed to go to Harlem for THIS.  I was flipping a shit.  The guy at the door who told us the place had been closed for 8 months sensed my rage and I guess he felt bad for us so he directed us to this other restaurant on 109th and Broadway where apparently this “Charlie” guy was also cheffing.  Well we had come this far so there was no way any of us was going to go home without getting some fried chicken in Harlem so we decided to go to this other place, Rack & Soul.

As much as I hate to admit it, I have to say it was totally worth it because I had some of the most delicious fried oysters with brie, buttermilk biscuits, fried chicken, mac and cheese and mashed potatoes I’d ever had in my entire life.

Rack & Soul

And the best part about it was, IM who is this tiny kid who probably weighs less than S’s left arm, only ate one fried chicken piece and barely touched his mac and cheese and mashed potatoes, and I was feeling nauseated and was about to hurl so I really didn’t eat all too much, so at the end of the meal (which, by the way, S picked up because he felt bad for dragging us to a closed location in Harlem on a Sunday afternoon), IM gave me all of his leftovers, and I had all of my leftovers, and together I was taking home enough fried chicken, biscuits, mac and cheese and mashed potatoes to last me probably until Thursday.

Well yesterday was disastrous.  It started fantabulous when I went for sushi with my puta J and splurged and spent the most money I’ve spent on food in a really long time when we got the lunch sushi special, a special roll and edamame for $23/person.  That filled me for the rest of the day – good thing because apparently B was having a birthday dinner that I didn’t realize was a dinner because I thought Kuma Inn was a bar, and I was not planning on spending any more money on food for the day.  So in an effort to not have to eat at dinner, I filled myself up with liquids at S’s and B’s apartment including a free AMP UP that I got off the street, a bourbon on the rocks and a martini.  Then at dinner  – which was BYOB – we brought a huge bottle of wine and that is what I ate for dinner while everyone else at the table enjoyed great Cambodian tapas.  The night continued with more drinks and more bars until the next morning (today) I ralphed up some serious bright neon green AMP UP followed by some serious bright neon yellow bile.  This was good because then I wasn’t hungry until 4pm, at which point the only thing I could stomach was Tasty King house special soup.

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ok I couldn’t help myself.  I had to get another Tasty King house special soup two hours later.  I was so hungry.  When I got down there and put in my order, the lady looked at me and in her Asian voice goes “ANOTHER ONE?!?!??!?”  I just smiled and nodded.  Now I am so full of sodium.