Monday 10/5

5 Oct

Well I’ve had quite the anti-poverexic 72 hours.

On Saturday I got an $80 haircut that looks exactly the way it looked before I walked into the salon.  Yesterday, instead of ordering one $5.50 Tasty King lunch special and eating half for lunch and the other half for dinner as usual, I ordered two regular Tasty meals at $6.75 each.  I wasn’t that hungry for dinner, but I forced myself to buy a second Tasty King meal because I needed to prepare my belly for New Ashiya all-you-can-eat sushi for $25 with my puta J and D today.  Clearly I usually do not pay $25 for meals, but clearly I made an exception today for my puta J who just got engaged to Mr. Patata Head.  So as her engagement gift, I gifted her a nauseating amount of special rolls and hand rolls, which will serve also as her wedding gift, Hanukkah gifts and birthday gifts through 2012.

We started out ordering 8 special rolls, and then followed up with 4 additional rolls, which I guess means we each ate 4 special rolls and a hand roll.  The special rolls at New Ashiya at the non-buffet price are $6-8 (?!?!???!?! SO CHEAP RIGHT) so since we ate 4 plus a hand roll, we calculated it just right so that we were slightly more economical by ordering the all-you-can-eat vs. a la carte.  Here’s the first plate that came to us — 3 more plates followed.

New Ashiya

New Ashiya

After our first 3 plates we were starting to get nauseatingly full but New Ashiya gets really pissed at customers who order more than they can eat.  We really didn’t want to get on their bad side, so my puta J, D and I continued to shove one piece at a time slowly in our mouths.  I was so frustrated with myself because my stomach actually wasn’t physically full, but I slightly threw up in my mouth as the mushy 36th piece of sushi hit my tongue.  I wanted to eat more, but my gag reflex kicked in.  But I FOUGHT IT, because I hate vomiting food that I’ve paid for.  So we finished the last remaining 4 pieces over the remaining 45 minutes of our 2-hour time limit while planning my puta J’s wedding.  My contributing ideas for the wedding were to have a full cocktail hour before the ceremony in the spirit of Judaism and then have a sushi buffet for the reception.

In conclusion, in the past 72 hours I have spent approximately the amount that I typically spend over one month.  I hope there’s free food at the office tomorrow.

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