Sunday 11/1

2 Nov

Halloween is pretty much my worst nightmare.  Kids ringing your doorbell every 2 seconds yelling and screaming and asking for candy.  YEAH??! YOU WANT CANDY?!?!??! HOW ABOUT YOU GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY DOOR AND GO FUCK YOURSELF.  As Sandy from Glee would say: Kids on Halloween?!??!?!  KILL YOURSELF!!!  If I had enough money to buy bags of candy for a bunch of kids I don’t even know, I’d buy myself food to eat.

To make matters worse, WE HAD TO MOVE ON HALLOWEEN.  That’s right.  WE MOVED ON 10/31.  And it gets worse.  The building we were moving into WAS HAVING A HUGE HAUNTED HOUSE PARTY FOR THE CHILDREN LIVING IN THE APARTMENT COMPLEX AND THERE WERE HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF CHILDREN BLOCKING THE ENTRANCE AND ELEVATORS.  OMG.  Worst nightmare X 10000000.  Seriously, KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!  I literally knocked over about 12 kids trying to make it to the elevator with all my shit with angry parents yelling after me that “pushing wasn’t nice” and me yelling back at them that they should have had an abortion.

Anyway, good news after we had finally moved in was that we were still living in Stuyvesant Town, so we felt pretty good about Tasty King still delivering to our location.  Bad news was that we were no longer right on the street and we’re on Stuyvesant Oval, in the heart of the maze.  Even as a Stuy Town resident myself, once you leave the main streets you’ve completely lost me.  Imagine how confused those delivery boys would be trying to find our new apartment to deliver our lunch specials.  THIS PRACE IMPOSSIBOOOO TO FINDDDD, SO COMPRICATEDDDDD!!!!!!  This was of great concern to us.

We decided to put them to the test as soon as we finished moving on Saturday night at 9pm (YES 9PM) when we immediately placed our orders.  In the spirit of new apartment, I decided to try new order, so I got some boneless spare ribs with pork fried rice and a shrimp roll deviating from my usual chicken/beef and broccoli with white rice.

The usual 10 minutes of normal delivery time passed, and still no delivery boy ringing our doorbell — ONLY KIDS IN HALLOWEEN COSTUMES.  Seriously, kill yourself.  Every single fucking time the doorbell would ring, we thought it was Tasty and it was just A BUNCH OF KIDS.  I was disgusted.  And we couldn’t even NOT answer the door because what if it was Tasty?!?!??!  So we kept answering the door, ring after ring after ring hoping it was our food when every single time it was kids asking us for food.  YEAH RIGHT GIVE YOU MY CANDY MY ASS.

20 minutes passed.  Still nothing.  We started to get very, very nervous that Tasty was no longer being faithful to us because we betrayed them by moving farther from their location.  We gave them a quick call to check up on the status of the order.  “Hi, we’re just calling about the order we placed about 20 minutes ago—” “NOT READY YET.”

WHAT?!??!?!??!? NOT READY YET?!?!?!??!?!?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING, WHAT, EVERYONE IS ORDERING CHINESE ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT AND BACKING UP THE ORDERS!??!?!??!? WTF IS GOING ON!??!?!???!!

We decided we shouldn’t get angry with our friends so decided to be patient and wait a few more minutes.  20 more minutes passed and still nothing.  OMG WHAT IS GOING ON we seriously wanted to cry WE KNEW THEY WOULD GET LOST TRYING TO FIND OUT NEW APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😦  We called again and apparently they were “on their way” but it was still another 10 minutes before the doorbell we were waiting for finally rang.

We were glad to finally have our food, but this delivery really raised some serious concerns.  Was Tasty retaliating?  Was this new location too complicated for them?  Would they take 45 minutes to deliver our order every single weekend we order their lunch specials?  Would they no longer give us free fortune cookies?  All these questions raced through my head.

Only time will tell.  To clear my head, I changed into my Sugar Babies costume and went out to scrounge some candy at parties for dessert.

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