New boss M took me out to a “welcome lunch” today to Steak Frites, which was incred. I’d always wanted to go there for lunch, but it’s too expensive for me. The only other time I’d ever been there before was for a Mad Men party a few months back where they had $10 huge really strong Mad Men drinks and a ton of free appetizers.
I was super excited about Steak Frites free lunch, but one of the downsides of “business lunches” – similar to dates – is that you’re obligated to do a lot of talking and hence can’t do a lot of eating. This is why I just like getting Tasty King with the roommates because we can all just concentrate on our food and sit in silence front of the TV and eat. I hate having to talk while I’m eating because I’m clearly not interested in having a conversation.
So I got the best burger in the world with roquefort and caramelized onions and huge strips of bacon with a side of frites, and I was hoping M would do most of the talking so I could dig right in. Unfortunately she was really interested in my background and how my first few weeks on the job were going and how my teams were and how my clients were and how my workload was and how this compared to my old job and DAHHHHHHHHH HAMBURGERRRRRRRRR plzzzzz sirrrrrrrrrr.
For every bite of delicious burger, I had to do another 10 minutes of talking. Before I knew it, an hour had flown by and M had to rush back to the office to make a 1pm meeting. BUT… BUT… BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT I had barely finished my burger and I hadn’t even gotten through half my fries and practically all my bacon strips had fallen out of my burger and so there was just a pile of thick bacon strips on my plate yelling “DON’T LEAVE USSSSSSSSS DON’T LEAVE USSSSSSSSS” WAAAAAHHHHHH.
When M asked for the bill I tried to shove as much of what was left on my plate into my mouth as possible, but of course the questions kept coming and I had to keep finishing chewing to speak. My stomach was happily full, but I just couldn’t help having this incredibly uncomfortable feeling in my stomach for having left all those bacon strips and frites. I thought about them all day and couldn’t get that image out of my head.
Poverexic in NYC 