Poverexic in NYC

11:37 am

Bananas are the fruit of the week at the office!  So I went bananas and took 4 for breakfast.  There are still some left, so I’ll probably take 4 more for lunch.

8:16 pm

Starving and only had a few bites of leftover salad and pasta at work.  I check out our fridge and the only thing leftover in our fridge is a Yuengling, so I grab that for dinner while watching Deja Vu with G.  G then makes a lovely comment about how I look like a guy – plopped down in front of the TV on the couch, beer in hand resting on arm of couch, mouth slightly open in a daze, legs stretched out and spread out.  In an effort to seem more feminine, I snag a few ciggies with G and L to further suppress my appetite.

8:43 pm

L and I are delighted that G decides to order Chinese while I finish my beer dinner and L finishes his wine dinner.  Food arrives and G starts reaching into the brown bag.  “Who wants my—–”

ME.

Score!  White rice.  How come no one ever wants it??  L teaches me a delightful trick of mixing duck sauce and soy sauce into white rice to enhance its flavor.

8:59 pm

LOST IN T MINUS ONE.  In the words of Jenna Maroney, EVERYONE SHUT UP, SHUT YOUR MOUTHS.

12:12 pm

PIZZA IN THE OFFICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really hate it when girls are like, “I really shouldn’t eat this.” Ok, then don’t. I’ll eat it for you. Simple as that.

Had a 2 hour meeting right during lunch today, so naturally lunch was on the company.  Luckily it was sushi, and luckily NYC is the best place to be if you’re a sushi lover because of all the lunch specials with 3 rolls miso soup and salad for $9.99.  So I ordered myself a salmon avocado roll, an Alaskan roll, and an eel avocado roll, and so that was breakfast, lunch and dinner.

P.S. I would be the happiest girl alive if I could have everything on this site: http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/page/1

Especially this:

The Double Bacon Hamburger Fatty Melt

I want to go to there.

12:14 pm

Had some of roommate L’s delicious leftovers from last night for breakfast this morning.

At first L raised false hopes by walking through the door yesterday evening and being like “SHIT! I had these delicious leftovers and I forgot them in my parents’ car!!!” NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO we both cried.

But then he lured me into going back downstairs and chasing his parents’ car by promising me that I could have all the leftovers and that I could meet his hot dad who got with Janice Dickinson back in the day, so he’s pretty much the man.

1:34 pm

Why am I at work on a Sunday? Let me tell you why. In addition to the fact that my current workload makes me want to cry, I was also still somehow hungry after I ate L’s delicious leftovers and I knew there’d be something leftover at the office. There’s been this thing of pasta salad in the office fridge that no one has touched since Thursday, and I knew it wasn’t anyone’s in particular because I’ve been keeping close tabs on it.

We have a pretty strict fridge policy of labeling everything with your name and date, so I basically interpret that to mean that if something isn’t labeled, it’s up for grabs. I usually feel somewhat terrible inside but it’s really their own fault for not taking 2 seconds to put their name on their food, but anyway, I usually wait a few days to clear my conscience. If that unlabeled food is still in the fridge untouched after 3 days, I take it. So, I had some pretty yum pasta salad with chicken for a 2nd meal today. Makes coming into work on the weekends sooo worth it.

Went to brunch today at Big Daddy with K and M and had the best burger with tots ever.  NAPOLEON GIMME YOUR TOTS.  It is now 7:03pm and I’m still full, which is great, because that means I don’t have to eat dinner (my usual weekend tactic).

When I walked through the door, I immediately recognized the hostess: Amy aka “Amis” from Cycle 10 of ANTM.  K and M were dubious, but I am always 110% confident in my reality TV show celeb knowledge skills.

ARE YOU AMY AKA AMIS FROM CYCLE 10 OF ANTM???  I boldly asked.

I was right (of course I was).  I was so excited, but didn’t really know what to say to her considering she was one of my least fav contestants on that show because she was so fucking weird.  AMIS?  like really?  What a terrible alternate name to pick just because another girl on the same cycle was also named Amy.

I of course lied to her though, as I usually do whenever I meet celebs (e.g., when I told Ice-T how much I loved him when I absolutely cannot stand him on L&O SVU).  So I told Amis how great she was, when what I really wanted to ask her was how it felt to compete with and lose against a fat chick (Whitney “plus-size” Thompson).  I also really wanted to chat with her about how Whitney was actually skinny in real life and got fat just so she could compete as a plus-size model and have a better chance at winning (incred strategy because it obviously worked), and then how she got skinny again after the press had died down.

I wish I was rich enough to get fat.  I’m suddenly hungry again.

Last night’s (Ice) T Party was ridic.  Partied it up with Ice-T and Taraji Henson (aka Queenie), and chatted it up with Dann Florek (aka Don Cragen) for a good 15 minutes and gave him my card.  Though I have to admit Fin is my least fav character on L&O SVU, I do heart Ice-T and Coco, and his party was fab.  Was so excited by all the fame surrounding me that I hardly even cared about those delicious bite-size burgers and quesadillas running around back and forth on tupperware trays.  And I may or may not have stifled my hunger with one too many Ice-Tinis.

Ice-T

Went to a screening of “He’s Just Not That Into You” (HJNTIY) last night (PR’s got the hook UP). I was starving and hadn’t eaten anything since my boss’ leftover sandwich and a bite of PB cookie. But there was nothing else to eat and no time to lose and we had to run out of work to the theater to catch the screening. Boss snuck in a Chipotle burrito (jealous!) but obviously I couldn’t ask her for leftovers twice in one day. I would only do that do my friends.

Let me digress a bit to talk briefly about this movie that is the next SATC for women everywhere. The cast was fantastic, but let me just say… this movie will cause women all around the world, for the rest of their lives moving forward, to make analogies between their own lives and HJNTIY:

• “Omg but don’t you think X and I could totally be like Ginnifer Goodwin and Justin Long in HJNTIY in that at the beginning he’s ________________, but then he’s really _______________?”
• “Do you think my situation is kinda like Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck in HJNTIY in that eventually he’ll _____________, even though we’ve been _______________?”
• “I really think I can be like Scarlett Johansson from HJNTIY and make him __________________!”

Was so starving and annoyed by the time I left the theater that I went and bought myself a few beers and banged T because it was the only way to get my mind off my hunger and annoyance.

6:30pm

GASP. OH NO.

9:30 am

My lil sis came in town last weekend and made me some blueberry muffins, mini donuts and chocolate-oatmeal cookies that are delicious (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and that I’ve been trying to save through the week as much as possible. I ate one blueberry muffin this morning. And a cookie because I was still starving. Hopefully I’ll be able to pace myself enough to keep these through next week.

1:27 pm

Boss just gave me her leftover chicken sandwich and humongoid peanut butter cookie!!!!! Who even cares about salmonella if it’s free?!?!? Heart boss!

3:46 pm

Found some leftover salad drenched in dressing in the kitchen. It was so good I went back for seconds because no one else seemed to be touching it. Then, I also spotted a lonely box of leftover white rice sitting on the counter. Slowly left the kitchen…

3:48 pm

Contemplating taking that box of white rice.

3:51 pm

Went back to kitchen… box of white rice still there…

5:44 pm

White rice is gone (DAMMIT) — but chips and salsa/guac, popcorn, margaritas and Corona at the office!!! AND karaoke! heart office.  This will be my dinner for tonight.

Super Bowl Sunday is a poverexic girl’s dream come true — endless loads of pizza, wings, beer, nachos, 7 layer dip, etc.

This is what we had at our SB party:

Deliciousness

Not really.

But I did spend 4 straight hours last night eating meat-zza, a mini pizza, a tomato/basil pizza, wings, chips and guac, chips and salsa, BBQ Lays, and pretzel chips. Who even gives a shit about Santonio Holmes when you’ve got endless wings and pizza?!?!??! (unless, of course, you’re talking about the “Santonio Holmes Shower” pic — incred)