Poverexic in NYC

Tomorrow is the first night of Hanukkah and I’m super psyched.  A and I are making (read: defrosting) latkes and – inspired by the Yahootinis I had the other day – we’re making Jewtinis, which are Jews with blue sugar sprinkled around their rim.  Kidding!  I’m such a disgusting human being.  What they really are are vodka martinis with blue sugar around the glass, but they will likely just end up being regular martinis since I don’t know where to buy blue sugar.  Another brilliant idea for tomorrow?  GELTINIS, which are martinis made with Goldschlager and served with a side of Gelt.

Boss S told me a few days ago that I should supplement my latkes with donuts for Hanukkah (a traditional Jew food) — luckily we had several bacon fried donuts leftover from last night, so I figured I would eat one today in preparation for the first night of the Festival of Lights.  (Btw my doc office called me on Tuesday to postpone my Wednesday physical until next week.  I was so pissed.  I had eaten healthy for nearly 48 hours for what.  NOTHING.  So last night’s cholesterol overload was my way of saying ‘fuck you doc’…… or ‘hooray Glee!’  Starting next Tuesday I’ll probably start eating healthy again in preparation for my rescheduled Thursday physical.)

Combined with Glee finale, mini donut burgers, mini chicken pot pies, Hanukkah and Santacon on Saturday, this week really embodies Nes Gadol Haya Sham — a great miracle happened there… IN MY MOUTH.

GASPPPPPP BEST DAY EVERRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!  As Sue Sylvester would say — Destination: DELICIOUS.  And as Glee Cast aka Kelly Clarkson would say — Roommates, MY LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT YOU.

On the menu tonight: two 2-liter bottles of Frontera Merlot and…

Bacon fried donuts

Sectionals

Chicken fried steak

CHICKEN FRIED STEAK

Sliders

MINI DONUT BURGERS

MINI CHICKEN POT PIE

PERFECTION

MY LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My roommates and I are super psyched for the season finale of GLEE tomorrow.  I got a preview of the Glee Cast rendition of Kelly Clarkson’s ‘My Life Would Suck Without You’ and nearly had a heart attack.  With all this excitement, roommate K suggested we have a Glee-themed roommate dinner.  GASPPPPPP GLEE-THEMED DINNERRRRRR WHATTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WHAT *IS* THAT?!??!?!??!???!?!???!  I immediately think of slurpees because that’s the only Glee-themed food I can think of.  I immediately get shot down by roommate L who has a much more creative mind than I do — an email from L:

Some options:

Duets of chicken and beef

Chicken medallions (like awards)

Pigs in a blanket (pregnancy theme)

Creme brulee (gayness theme… i.e. you’re having my baby, what a lovely way of saying that you’re thinking of me)

Fish (cause the Scales)

But what I was really thinking was steak prepared 3 ways — 3 different types of beef, so it’s like SECTIONALS.

oh man, why aren’t I on top chef

I DON’T KNOW L.  I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU ARE NOT ON TOP CHEF.  THIS WAS THE MOST BRILLIANT THING I HAD EVER HEARD OF IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.  And then roommmate K followed up with yet another brilliant idea: MASH-UP POTATOES.  HOLY CRAP.  WHAT IS THIS, JOURNAL?!??!?!?!?!?!

Got this gchat from roommate M around 3pm today:

M: tasty tonight?

My first thought: wtf it’s barely 3pm, I literally just had lunch, I don’t know yet if I want Tasty tonight for dinner.

But then I realized what a stupid thought that was.  Of course I was going to want Tasty tonight.

me: OH
dammit
i just scored some free food at the office
M: that’s cool
me: well not really
i want tasty now that you mentioned it
M: what’d ya eat
me: pasta and salad and 1/4 of a sandwich
i also ordered street food today for lunch
M: not bad
me: thanks
M: either way
i think imma order some tastery tonight
i’m craving some msg laden soup
me: that sounds so dericious
M: doesn’t it though
me: damn you now you’ve tempted me

Well, we all know what happened next………………. Ugh, I ended up ordering a chicken salad from this other place across the street to cancel out the street meat that I had inhaled earlier in the day for lunch because I vowed that for the next 48 hours until my Wednesday morning physical, I would eat super healthy and drinks lots of water to flush out all the sodium and cholesterol that I’ve accumulated over the past 2 years of my life so that my blood results turn out as flawless as ever.  I’m a betrayer to Tasty. 😦

So I finished all of S’s Thanksgiving leftovers yesterday.  I was kinda upset.  I was hoping it would last a whole week, but there hasn’t been any substantial free food at the office all week (except for the wine, cheese and crackers at the brainstorm), and I’ve been really really hungry.

But anyway, all these Thanksgiving leftovers and Tuesday’s brainstorm really made me stop and reflect on my life and question my lack of healthy eating and exercising habits.  So I decided to make an appointment for a physical for next Wednesday to check out my cholesterol level, and maybe my sodium level too while I’m at it.  I think the last time I ever got a physical must have been back in high school (once you hit a certain age you really only start to care about the health of your twat and not so much about the rest of your body).  However, I did get some blood work done 2.5 years ago when I was working at Beth Israel, and my results were flawless.  I have a feeling they may have gotten somewhat worse since I’ve started my poverexic lifestyle.

After all this contemplating, roommate L generously offered to cook me up something healthy, so he made some delicious shrimp and sea bass doused in delicious butter and oil.

Shrimp & Bass

And then tonight, we had some dericious fried dumprings.  No, not Tasty King dumprings.  Roommate L dumprings.  HOMEMADE.  With steak, shitaki mushrooms and brie:

Fried Dumprings

On Wednesday I’m going to get my cholesterol and sodium levels checked out.

Today I was pulled into a brainstorm about “healthy eating.”  Why I was pulled into this brainstorm I have no idea.  Apparently I filled out a survey and it categorized me as “fashionable, health conscious and disciplined.”  Ummm…… yeah.  Or NONE OF THE ABOVE.  I specifically remembered answering “Not at all” to the question “Do you consider yourself to be health conscious?”

But I went to the brainstorm anyway because the invite promised wine, cheese and crackers.  The brainstorm was all about picking our consumer brains (yeah….. not sure if I’m the right target consumer audience……) so we just sat around discussing our eating and exercising habits.  That got pretty awk pretty quickly considering I was answering the opposite of everyone else in the room, and it became pretty obvious pretty quickly that I was there just for the free food.

Examples were as follows:

Q:  Do you restrict your diet in any way to be healthy?

Girl 1:  I try not to snack so much during the day.

Girl 2:  I can only eat gluten-free foods.  [KILL YOURSELF!!!]

Girl 3:  I try to choose only organic foods when I go grocery shopping.

Me:  I eat ramen every day for lunch and get Chinese food takeout for dinner every night.

Q:  How often do you exercise?

Girl 1:  I try to work out at least twice a week, but I don’t beat myself over it if I can’t get my 2 workouts in.

Girl 2:  I work out every day after work.

Girl 3:  I work out about 4 times a week.

Me:  The last time I worked out was high school senior year track in the year 2002.

Well….. the wine, cheese and crackers were good.  And free.