Poverexic in NYC

10:35 am

ORANGES ARE THE FRUIT OF THE WEEK AT THE OFFICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Number of oranges I’ve eaten as of 10:35 am : 4

Percent intake of Vitamin C as of 10:35 am : 800

Risk of acidic overdose as of 10:35 am : 75%

Number of oranges I’ve stashed for tomorrow : 3

4:43 pm

LEFTOVER PIZZA IN THE OFFICEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am really ecstatic because it’s tomato basil mozarella.  I am really upset because I literally just finished my thing of ramen literally 2 minutes ago.  If I had been alerted to the free pizza boxes 5 minutes earlier, I wouldn’t have opened a new thing of ramen and would have an extra thing of ramen for another day.  Moving forward — in the words of Tracy Morgan from “REALLY!?! with Tracy Morgan” — I really really really REALLY don’t want you to do this.  REALLY.

9:21 pm

Total of items I’ve consumed today:

4 fresh oranges

1 ramen (chicken flavor)

1 pizza slice (tomato basil mozarella)

Well, you can say this weekend was a Patsy’s pizza weekend, meaning, I only ate Patsy’s pizza literally all weekend.

On Saturday S, B, A, C and I were March Madness-ing at S’s and we decide to accompany our beers and Bourbon with some food.  We go into literally a 20 minute discussion on whether we should order pizza or Vietnamese food, and of course pizza wins because the crowd was 3.5 white people vs 1.5 Asians  (A = 1/2 and 1/2).

But the thing is, there were 5 people, but I was surprisingly genuinely not hungry at all (full of B&B, beer and bourbon), and B is an anorexic vegan — i.e., really only S, A and C were going to be eating.  S knew this, but of course he orders 3 large pizzas for 3 eating people.  So the pizza comes, and naturally A and C only eat 2 slices like normal people, S eats like 6, I help myself to all the crust that he leaves behind, and B nervously picks off the mushrooms and sun dried tomatoes.

Then there’s literally an entire large pizza leftover, and I get really upset because I hate it (slash, LOVE IT) when people overestimate the amount of food they’re going to be eating and waste a ton of good food.  As per the usual, I start yelling at S and lecturing him on how to accurately estimate the amount of pizza he should order for 2 normal people + 1 anorexic + 1 poverexic + 1 man bear pig, and I am trying to understand why bankers like him choose to throw good leftovers away instead of saving it for later like a normal-income person.

Anyway, needless to say, I lost the battle (slash, WON THE BATTLE) and took home the entire large leftover pizza, which became my meals for literally the entire weekend.

Brilliant discovery by co-worker and co-bacon lover K:

Bacon Donuts

We will be attending this incred event.  Although I hate Brooklyn, I may have to suck it up for this.

Run by The Chili Takedown, this event is taking place on Sunday, March 29th, at Radegast Hall & Beer Garden in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.  Thirty bacon dishes go head to head.  Anything and everything goes as long as it includes bacon.  Only $10 to get in, taste all ofthe entries, and vote on the winner.  And it’s in a beer garden which is just like icing on the meat cake.

For more information visit http://baconnation.ning.com/events/the-brooklyn-bacon-takedown

OMFG last night was the most incred night ever.  This is what M, L, W and I did:

http://eater.com/archives/2009/03/genius_gimmicks_gossip_girl_at_park_avenue_winter.php

Gossip Girl promotion at Park Ave Winter: free meals and drinks for dressing like a (slutty) schoolgirl!!!!!!!!!!!

Here’s what I had:

Appetizer: Venison Steak Tartare

Signature Side Dish: Broccoli and Cheetos

Side Dish #2: Potato Latkes

Lobster (which I split with L's filet mignon for surf and turf)

Chocolate Cube

PLUS A DIRTY MARTINI (my drink of choice) AND A LYCHEE MARTINI!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ALL FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was so excited and I knew I was in luck because I was with three girls on diets with a shitload of food on our table — I was confident that one of them wouldn’t be able to/want to finish her meal.

Boy was I wrong.

I kept a hawk eye on their plates through every course of the meal.  After everyone had finished their entrees, M still had two bites of her filet mignon left on her plate.  I stuck to my 10-minute rule.  M hadn’t picked up her fork in nearly 15.

“Hey M, are you not going to eat that or something.”

“You know what, L — I just might eat it, I just might.”

And then she did.  Fuck.

Regardless, I really have no complaints from last night.  It was really quite incred.  You know you love me.

xoxo

Poverexic Girl

Roommate L made the greatest discovery ever: http://scanwiches.com/

Sandwiches I’ve had: none.  Sandwiches I want: all.

Check out this one:

Mooncake: Steak, Peppers, Lettuce, Herbal Mayo on a baguette

Fortunately, Mooncake is right across the street from my office.  Unfortunately, I don’t buy food.

On a related note, check out my friend LP’s newest blog: http://boredeatersanonymous.wordpress.com/

HAPPY ST PADDY’S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The greatest thing about holidays is free food and free booze.  Like today, we had a St. Paddy’s party at the office featuring traditional Irish foods such as chips and guac/queso/salsa, blondie bars, chocolate chip cookies, green cupcakes, Swedish fish, and pineapple punch with a splash of Cruzan Rum.  I was stuffed and happy as a frog.

The only thing that dampened my mood all day was the fact that I forgot to wear green, which I realized with a DAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO this morning when I was walking to work and noticed drunk middle aged old couples wearing all green with beers in their hands.

I think this is the first year since 1989 that I forgot to wear green – last year I was all green bartending at the Kong, serving my “green clovers” and green Bud Lights, wearing my green top, green Senor Frog’s beads and “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” four leaf clover headband.

This year, I wore a gray top, jeans and glasses.  I’m such a loser.

With SS visiting NYC for the first time, I was excited to show her all the cheap eats of the city.  Must-eats included hot dog off the street, halal food, black-and-white cookie, Crumbs cupcake, knish, hot pretzel, Sunday brunch and Artichoke pizza.  Good thing we had two whole days to check all those off the list.

Then on Saturday night, I had a reunion dinner at Industria Argentina with my friends that I had studied abroad with in Buenos Aires.  AP and SS came with me, and I was really excited to see everyone that I hadn’t seen in forever.  The dinner was ridic – we ordered 3 bottles of wine, 2 orders of empanadas and 2 orders of choripan for the table.  AP and SS and I were a bit nervous after looking at the menu and seeing the $$$ (SS is also poverexic), so we decide to share one order of empanadas ($18) among the three of us – you do the math.

Three hours later, everyone is finishing up their dinners, and SD and LH next to me are splitting an incredible-looking sirloin steak and frites.  From the relatively slow rate at which they were going through the steak/frites/greens, I could predict with pretty good accuracy that there would soon be leftovers.  Of course I was right, and SD offered me the rest of her sirloin steak, greens and frites, except that as happens way more often than it should, the waitress tries to take away the frites before I’ve finished going through them (biggest pet peeve ever).  I practically yell CONCHA DE TU MADRE!!!!!!!!!!!!! shaking my fist at her to get her hands off that plate.  Again, IF THERE IS ANY FOOD LEFT ON A PLATE, YOU AS A WAITER ARE SUPPOSED TO CLEARLY ASK “ARE YOU DONE WITH THAT” BEFORE YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ANYWHERE NEAR A PLATE.  GET IT RIGHT.  Nothing enrages me more.  Although I was quickly calmed by the fact that DF was apparently taking care of the entire tab for our table of 10 (which must have been $700+).  Que ridiculo/generoso/wtf!  My friends are too kind.

The night quickly turned sour when I realized at the end of our night that I had forgotten my keys, and roommates G and L were probably not coming home for another several hours (or not coming home at all), and apparently our building has a $50 lockout fee (I mean, REALLY???).  SS wanted to kill me.  After texting my entire phone book, SS and I decided that we had no other choice but to pass out in the hallway (which was strangely reminiscent of college) and patiently wait for someone to save us from humiliation.  After 1.5 hours of sleeping outside my door with me hugging my purse for dear life, the only kind savior was A, who lives all the way up in the UES, who came to our rescue at 3am.  We felt so bad and this was probably somewhat embarrassing (or AWESOME) for A, whose doorman must have thought he was scoring a threesome that night.  Anyway, really the most upsetting part of the night was when I immediately ralphed in A’s bathroom as soon as we got inside — I was so sad to see all that Malbec and bits of sirloin steak go down the toilet 😦

This was a great weekend, full of poverexic success.  I ate so much and drank so much and spent so little.

The successful weekend started with roommate L cooking one of his delicious dinners for me on Friday night — this time it was fried shrimp and ribeye — INCRED.  It was one of the best dinners ever.  L had bought 2 cuts of ribeye and we shared one, saved the other for later.

The fun continued through the night with my friend-since-we-were-four (SS) visiting me in NYC for the first time.  So I took her out for a good time with M and O and O’s friend J in the West Village and then to Gatsby’s, where M and J bought us drinks the entire night.  My stomach was full of free ribeye, fried shrimp, red wine, beer, and vodka sodas, and it had never been happier.

After a fun night of groping and dancing, S and I come home at 4am to find L in the kitchen.  We seem to have caught L off guard because when we walk through the door, he somewhat nervously goes “oh hey! hey hey heeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyy what’s up guys.”

me: What are you doing L …

L: Oh hey! Oh nothing, I was just —

me: IS THAT THE OTHER RIBEYE STEAK *RAW*???????????????????????

L: Oh, um, no, I mean, yes.    ……    I was hungry.

me: You’re eating RAW STEAK?!??!??!?!?

L: It’s actually quite delicious.

Despite my initial gross reflex and concern that L might get salmonella, I was actually quite intrigued and completely empathized with his urge and secretly wanted to try one of the leftover chunks.  I didn’t have the appetite to ask this time given that I was about to hurl my cheap beer and vodka soda, but next time, I want to try some raw steak.  Just like carpaccio.

Another successful conversion:

N: i was caught stealing food at work

Roommate L nearly caused me a heart attack this morning: